Heart and Soul
by elvishwolf7
Summary: BECOMING JANE FIC When the fever hits England, London is hit first, but soon, Hampshire becomes a target for disease. The only person able to help is the only one who survived the fever as a child: Thomas Lefroy, who is more susceptible because of it.
1. One Year Later

**HEART AND SOUL: A BECOMING JANE FIC**

**SUMMARY: **There are two times of people in life: people who accept life the way it is or people who make life accept them the way they are. Jane Austen is the later and fate itself will have to bend to her will…

When the fever hits England, London is hit first, but soon, Hampshire becomes a target for disease. The only person able to help is the only one who survived the fever as a child: Thomas Lefroy, who is more susceptible because of it.

**AN: **For those who don't know… all my stories must have a happy ending. Thus the reason I had to write this!!

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Clenching her jaw, Jane Austen bent forward, forcing her way through the wind which stung her face and the puddles soaking her boots. Her eyes were burning, but she could hardly blame the weather for that.

She would though, for now anyway. Jane was not willing to admit that the tears wishing to leap free from her eyes were because of the pain she still held. That was over now. She had to move on. He was not coming back, and after what she had done, she could not find it in herself to blame him.

Jane had left him. Yes, it was for his family, and yes, it was the sensible, moral thing to do, but the pain in her heart told her that it came at a severe cost. Now, forcing her way through the cold, she knew what she had known the moment his figure had disappeared from view:

She would never again be whole.

The tears began to slip past her protective eyelids. Jane slammed them shut to keep the tears at bay. The last thing she wanted was someone to see her cry. There were enough rumors and whispers about her at Hampshire as it was. If anyone saw her, she'd simply say she was reacting to the weather.

Of course, anyone who knew here would not be fooled, and since the only ones who would ask would be her family, excuses were pointless. They would know the moment they saw her that something was wrong, and worse yet, they would know what.

One year; one year had passed since she saw his face, since those handsome crystal blue eyes met hers. The last time Jane had seen them, they had been filled with emotion. Pain more deep then any weapon could inflict. She could still hear his voice, soft and firm.

_No, Jane. No. I will never give you up._

Oh Tom, if only you had been able to keep that promise. If only fate had been so kind.

_Don't speak, don't think. Just love me… Do you love me?_

Sweet Thomas Lefroy, even after everything, he asked. She had never told him, nor he her, at least, not in those exact words.

_I am yours. I am yours heart and soul._

That had been enough. If that did not say he loved her, nothing ever would, but that was over a year ago, months before the last time she had seen him. He had still loved her, the day they had run away together, but now? A lot could change in a year. Jane had changed much.

She had mellowed, or at least that was what her sister said. Her family told her she lived among her books. Jane accepted a portion of this. For in her stories, she could make the story end as she chose. No separate lovers, no loveless maidens, and no rich selfish uncles that did not get judgment. Her characters could love whom the wished, and marry when they chose, whom they chose, and why they chose.

Jane sighed, once again forcing the ache for him in her heart back into its usual spot of neglect. One day she knew she would have to deal with the suppressed longing, but for now, it was just too painful.

As she neared the Austen residence, Jane expected to see the servants in the garden, probably whispering the latest gossip to each other, but she found it vacant. In fact, the font of the house seemed void of all sound, not even the sound of people running through the remaining puddles from yesterday's rain could be heard.

A sense of dread filled Jane and she hurried up the walkway towards the house. She came in through the side door and froze. Her father sat not far away on the bench of the piano, head bowed, hands folded.

Jane rushed to him. "Father?"

Reverend Austen nodded slightly, not looking at her, making a soft hushing noise. "I'm praying, Jane. Perhaps you should do the same."

She bent down, covering his hands with her own, searching his face worriedly. "What is it, father? What's wrong?"

Slowly, his eyes opened to look at his youngest daughter. Great concern clouded his features. "It's the fever."

Jane could feel herself stiffen unconsciously as the words she did not wish to hear came at her loud and clear.

"It has come to Hampshire."


	2. And so it continues

**HEART AND SOUL: A BECOMING JANE FIC**

**And so it continues…**

The fever had spread through England like a wild fire. The courts in London had shut down, the halls needed for housing the sick. Soon, they were every bit as needy as the poor in London had once been. Lines formed of people needing to see doctors, buggies were back up from people trying to get out of the city, but soon, everything was closed off and London had become quarantined.

Jane had listened to the news quietly, gripping the chair beneath her tightly until her knuckles turned white. Since her father's announcement of the fever reaching Hampshire, many of its relatives had begun plans to leave the county. Unfortunately, that would no longer be allowed.

Soldiers rolled in, adding Hampshire to the lockdown. The citizens were horrified. There was but one case in all of Hampshire of the fever. "You're dooming us!" they cried. "We'll all die if you don't let us out."

But they were contaminated, and in the country's state of panic, the words of the judges were law. Jane watched as her father spoke with many of their neighbors, trying to assure them that they would be alright.

Her sister, Cassandra came to stand beside her. Jane looped arms with her and the two strolled down the road, away from the heated discussions.

"I spoke to a passerby today," Cassie said softly, breaking the silence. "He was a reverend from London."

Jane nodded, and feigned interest. "Oh?"

Cassie nodded. "Yes. Apparently, his services are hardly needed much there." She looked at her sister, expecting some sort of reaction.

"That's a shame," she responded nonchalantly.

Cassandra waited.

Finally Jane sighed and turned to her. "What is it, Cassie? What news did he bring that is worth gossiping about?"

Her sister pursed her lips, hiding a smile and kept walking. "Nothing important, I suppose."

"If you plan on bringing up London," Jane responded, this time with actual interest. "Then please have something worth telling."

"Very well," her sister said. She looked at her, eyes sparkling. "He brought news of a certain young lawyer."

Jane froze midstride. Cassie unlinked her arm from hers, hiding a grin behind a delicate expression, and continued walking. Soon, her younger sister was back by her side.

"What news from London?" she demanded, allowing a smile as her sister began to giggle. "Out with it, Cassandra Austen. Surely you have something to say."

"Why so interested, my dear sister?" Cassie teased. "Does Mr. Lefroy still hold your heart, perhaps?"

"Possibly," Jane relented. "He may nearly have it locked with the only key in his possession."

Cassie smiled knowingly, enjoying the conversation greatly. It was quite possibly the longest one she and Jane had held in over a year. She began to giggle again when she felt her sister's arms go around her shoulders.

"My dearest sister, I do believe you have lost your train of thought," Jane continued persistently. "Allow me to guide you back to it. You were about to tell me of a certain gentleman?"

"Oh yes, of course," Cassie giggled. "How silly of me to become distracted; I shall have to mend my ways."

The two sisters exchanged smiles and bent forward together, linking arms once more.

"Reverend Tyler, whom I met today," Cassie began excitingly. "Told me of the most interesting demand made of him. Apparently, Judge Langlois, the uncle of the man in question—"

Jane shot her a sisterly glare.

"—ordered that the bodies of those killed from the fever be burned."

"To protect the remaining unaffected?" Jane asked.

"It would appear so," her sister agreed. "But the reverend, a young man be no means, is absolutely against the idea. He claims it unholy."

"Yes," Jane prompted her to continue. "And…?"

"Well, it so happened, that Reverend Tyler called on the judge in order to explain his standpoint on the matter and make some sort of agreement, but the Judge Langlois would have no part of it."

"No surprise there," Jane responded darkly. "The man is as stubborn and a young donkey..."

Her sister gasped. "Jane!"

"…without the cuteness of being young."

"Oh, however are we going to get you married?" Cassie exclaimed.

"By finishing your tale, my dear sister," Jane laughed. "Go on."

"Very well," her sister agreed, giving her a firm look. "He told me the judge would not even lower himself to see the visitor. Apparently, the greatest honor he would have been allowed would be the right to stand in the foyer, had it not been for a young charming lawyer."

Jane shot her sister another glare for pausing again. Her heart was beating a bit faster than normal and the knot in her stomach was sending butterflies throughout her abdomen. The suspense was nearly killing her. Thankfully, Cassandra continued.

"He spoke with the reverend, listening to what the very distressed man had to say," Cassie said with a gleam in her eyes. Jane knew the best part was next.

"And?"

"Then Mr. Lefroy gave the reverend his word that the families may have their relative's ashes to properly bury them. Reverend Tyler told me that he could hear the uncle and nephew arguing about this when he left, but as he said," Cassie winked at her. "There was no doubt Mr. Lefroy would be the victor of that argument."

"Why is that?" Jane asked faintly.

"Because not even Judge Langlois can overturn the word of a fellow judge."


	3. In London

**HEART AND SOUL: A BECOMING JANE FIC**

Judge Thomas Lefroy stood at the balcony of his uncle's home in London. His deep blue eyes were slightly dulled, his hair in the unruly combed fashion he usually awarded it. The clouds groaned above him, thick with rain, and filled with desire to pour the water down on the streets of the nation's capital, but none came.

Perhaps even the rain was fearful of the afflicted ground, joining the masses in the urge to escape while it could. Among these people, Lefroy knew his uncle dwelled. The elderly man would have had a complete fit had he known his nephew stood outdoors.

But he had needed the air. All the tension and illness was getting to him, grating at his nerves. There was only so much of his uncle's coughing that he could stand before he called the doctor, and the elder judge had made it perfectly clear he wanted no one to know that he had the symptoms. He did not wish to be known as a judge who succumbed to a fever.

Pride, it seemed to Thomas, would be the judge's downfall long before the fever ever got him. The man had pride in everything, but only recently, pride in his nephew. Since being offered the roll of judge, Lefroy had heard his uncle praising his name before his colleagues. It was near unheard of, becoming a judge at such a young age, still fresh from the student's desk, but eve of the retirement of a former mentor and friend, Judge Tate, the request for him being the replacement had been sent out. Apparently, he had managed to somehow find favor in the late judge's eyes; a fact that did not go unnoticed by his uncle.

It was with this newfound favor, that Thomas Lefroy was able to persuade his uncle he was in no need of a bride. His engagement with Miss Paul had been terminated. Thomas, in the best way he knew how, explained to her that he could never bring himself to marry someone he did not love and believed she too deserved the same right, and the two had parted on good terms.

In the last four months, Judge Lefroy's life had become only too simple. He absorbed himself in his work. He enjoyed it, as well as he could, and accepted that it was all the world had to offer him, but somehow, deep within the corners of his heart, there was a glimmering hope that perhaps, just perhaps, there would be more.

She was still out there, somewhere in a small county of Hampshire. There was a distinct possibility that Jane Austen had not married, if indeed she had decided to stick with her principles and refuse to do so without affection. It was conceivable, that she had managed to do so with affection, but it was an unlikely prospect and one Thomas was not willing to contemplate. That would have been too much to bear.

She loved him. Jane Austen loved him, Thomas Lefroy, and a single year would not, could not change that. This he believed, this he had to tell himself. She was not gone, not forever. She was simply absent, for a time being.

Thomas knew that if he allowed himself to doubt this, if he gave up any hope of ever seeing her again, life itself would come to a complete standstill. There would not be a way for him to keep going, but with his heart still hoping, he could fight on. He could engross himself in his work until either he had enough money to live without the aid of his uncle, or the older judge would no longer have a say.

It seemed morbid, for the death of his uncle to set him free, but it was either that, or accept a world without Jane, which, in his opinion, was a fate worse than death. It simply was not an option that he could accept, and as fate would have it, he found he would not have to.

Of late, a new option had presented itself. Judge Tate, also a man of no children had recently told the judge-in-training that he was putting together a will naming he, Thomas Lefroy, as his successor. Thomas was flattered, and once being told there was no law against being the sole recipient of two household fortunes. Amazingly enough, fate which once seemed to hate him, was finally content it had caused enough damage.

Maybe it had. Perhaps it was too late, too late for him and Jane; too late for their happily ever after. Thomas did not know, but he did not have to know yet, not quite yet.

Within the year, his training as a judge would be complete. Lefroy had traveled to a good amount of courts, in London and elsewhere. He had received many offers from places wishing to take him on as a judge, but nothing quite appealed to him. This was a job he would have for the rest of his life. Thomas at least wanted to be certain it was where he should be.

His uncle seemed pleased with the idea of his nephew starting his own courtroom. The thought was appeasing, but very difficult. The cost would be astronomical, but his uncle would have him do it in a heartbeat. There were a good deal of counties without a court that could benefit from it and many of which allowed him to be away from the constant business of city life.

Thomas had once loved that life, the busying about, constantly in a hurry to get somewhere, but he now found it dull. People became so wrapped up in their own schedule, they forgot what it meant to just stand still, to listen to the rain, or hear the voices of children laughing. They had lost the ability to smile at a passerby, and a friendly "How do you do?" was looked at as odd. Bowing was last decade, and reading, who possibly had the time?

A noise behind him pulled the young judge out of his thoughts. He heard the footsteps of one of the servants approaching before stopping at the edge of the balcony. The man cleared his throat before speaking softly. "Sir? Judge Langlois has called for you, sir."

Thomas smiled and clasped his hands behind his back. He turned and nodded towards the servant waiting before him. "Thank you, Jonathon."

The man bowed and directed Lefroy towards his uncle's study. The old man was at his desk, coughing every minute or so, scribbling away at something. He nodded when Thomas entered but did not look up.

Thomas sighed as he heard Jonathon shut the door behind him. He looked over at his uncle and put up a forced smile. "You wished to see me, uncle?"

"Yes," he uncle responded emotionlessly. He continued to write, a concentrated look on his face.

His nephew pursed his lips and took a few steps further into the room. "What about?"

Finally, the elder judge looked up. "Some of my colleagues and I…" he stopped and let out what he believed to be a comforting chuckle. "Or should I say _our_ colleagues and I have contacted some of the doctors from Ireland, Dublin to be precise." He clicked his pen and paused. "You know where that is, do you not?"

Thomas nodded, hiding his smirk. "It's the capital, uncle."

"Yes, that it is," his uncle nodded. "Well, we have contacted them, since they are more familiar with the illness when it hit Ireland fifteen years ago. You do remember that, don't you Tom? It struck Limerick as well."

"I remember," he replied calmly, his blue eyes watching his uncle closely. "I was one of the sick."

"Yes, you were." The older judge stood and walked towards him slowly, a motion he did when he was about to give a suggestion that was more like an order. "How old were you?"

"Seven."

"Of course." The words were firm, holding a demand in them alone. Thomas braced himself for the attack.

"The doctors will not be able to get to London, my dear boy," his uncle said a matter-of-factly. "They will be setting up a hospital or so to speak nearby: in Hampshire. I'm sure you remember it."

Thomas's eyes widened slightly, and his lips felt suddenly dry. "I do."

"Good!" his uncle turned and walked back towards his desk. "Pack your things; you'll be leaving at once."

Lefroy frowned and cocked his head slightly. "I'm sorry," he let out after a moment, giving a small laugh. "I'm afraid I do not follow you, uncle. How did we get from the discussion of doctors from Dublin coming to a decision on my traveling to Hampshire?"

Judge Langlois put down his quill with a great sigh. "Thomas, you are one of the few who actually had the fever and survived. If your presence helps them in anyway, you should go."

"How will my being there help them tend to the sick?" Lefroy wanted to know. "I am no doctor."

"But you are a judge!" His uncle stood up angrily. "And the presence of a judge in the area will calm the restlessness in the people."

"Uncle, the only ones who ever believe that are the judges themselves," Thomas countered. He lifted his hands up in annoyance. "Why is it my supposed colleagues view themselves as God's gift to mankind?"

"See to your tongue!"

Thomas took a deep breath and fell silent.

"You are going, young man," his uncle declared. "Use whatever reason that will make it easiest on you, but you are going." The anger in his uncle's eyes softened for just a moment. "I will not see my heir killed by a fever he conquered as a child. Prepare yourself to leave."


	4. News in Hampshire

**HEART AND SOUL: A BECOMING JANE FIC**

Jane was certain that all the gossip in England was carried by the mouths of reverend's wives. The irony of the statement struck her as slightly humorous. A small smile appeared on her face and she glanced at her father.

Reverend Austen was deep in conversation with Reverend Tyler. Her father had offered for the reverend and his wife to spend a few days at the Austen residence. Now, the two wives and two husbands were carrying on separate conversations.

Jane and Cassandra exchanged amused glances. Though they were seated closer to their father's conversation, it was the ladies gossip of London that caught their attention. Cassie looked at her sister with a surprised expression and both tried not to laugh, but soon, the talk of trends and fashion turned to more serious discussion.

"Our lovely city has gone down in ruins," Mrs. Tyler was telling their mother. "All the young bachelors and ladies, all the children, all the elderly… It's a wonder so many families are able to stick together."

"Oh, is it so bad?" Jane's mother gasped. "Surely, it cannot be. We had heard that no one was able to get out of London, that it was quarantined. However did you make it out of there?"

"We were in the last group out," the other explained. "There was barely any time to pack. We had to leave so much behind, so many family heirlooms. Oh it was awful."

The men had fallen silent and were eating quietly. They seemed to be in deep thought, but their wives found it necessary to include them in their conversation.

"Wasn't it horrid, dear?" Mrs. Tyler asked her husband. "Leaving our London? And the tragedy befalling our beloved home! You do believe the children are alright, don't you?"

Reverend Tyler nodded, unperturbed by his wife's uneasiness. "The fever has not reached Cornwall, my dear. I am sure they are fine."

"Our son, Richard lives in Cornwall," Mrs. Tyler explained to Mrs. Austen. "He has a fine establishment there. If you are ever in the area, you ought to stop by. It is where we are now headed."

The women once again began speaking of the finer things of life concerning Cornwall, and soon Mrs. Austen was bragging about the newest fashions coming to Hampshire from there. While Cassandra was able to contribute to their busy talk, Jane found herself listening to the men.

Reverend Austen spoke softly to the other reverend, not wishing for their wives to hear. "How far has the fever spread, do you know?"

The other shook his head slowly. "No, the last I had heard, it went as far as Wiltshire, but that was weeks ago. I have not been in touch with Judge Lefroy since he warned me to get out of London."

Jane started at that. Her head turned to look at the reverend, any possibility of remaining discreet about listening went out the window the moment she heard his name. Her heartbeat had sped up slightly. "Judge Lefroy?"

Reverend Tyler turned to her in surprise. "Yes, Miss Austen?"

"You know him?" she asked attentively. She felt her father's gaze turn to her and tried not to blush. "Judge Lefroy, you know him well?"

"Yes, miss, I do," he responded with a smile. "A good deal, I should like to think. We see eye-to-eye on a few things, or at least, share a mutual respect," he added looking at her father. "The new judge is quite the young man, a fair catch for the young lady who manages to get him."

Jane swallowed slowly, her mouth dry. "He's not married then?"

"Oh no, Miss Austen," the reverend replied. "He was betrothed at one point, I believe, but at reaching the level of judge, it was dissolved. I am told it was a mutual understanding between him and his bride to be. Arranged marriages are just not as popular in these days as they used to be."

Jane could feel her face beginning to heat up and she looked down at her hands. She could sense her father's gaze on her and knew he could read right through her. After nearly disgracing her family, she did not have the proper right to inquire about Mr. Lefroy, but Jane could not have held her tongue. Her heart was getting in the way of her sensibility. Even as the shame built up, she could feel her hands begin to shake with anticipation.

Finally, she looked up, but to Jane's surprise, there was no incrimination in her father's eyes, only understanding. She glanced around and noticed her mother's eyes held the same. The guilt lifted off her like a bird with wings.

Suddenly, Jane realized that the table had grown silent; even the gossiping reverends' wives had quieted. Cassie reached over and laid a hand on her sister's arm.

"Love, it seems, is much more in style these days," Mrs. Tyler suggested, breaking the stillness. She smiled at Jane comfortingly. "After all, it is much more worth the risk."

Jane returned the smile softly.

"Isn't it, my dear husband?" Mrs. Tyler turned to her husband. "That is after all why we married, is it not?"

The reverend nodded, a smile playing on his lips. "Of course we did, dear."

Mrs. Tyler smiled and patted her husband's arm. "We were ahead of our time."


End file.
